How
to Negotiate Effectively
Negotiation is a fact of life. Little children learn about it early. You
did, too. Were you effective? Are you now? Do you want to improve your abilities?
Feel better about both the outcome and yourself when negotiating? You can.
Effective negotiation is not a contest of wills to determine
who has the most power. It is not a game in which each party
seeks to best the other. No contest. No games. But, there are
rules! Rules that make the dialogue respectful and the outcomes
fair.
In Getting to Yes, Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In,
Roger Fisher and William Ury of the Harvard Negotiation Project
tell us that there are four main keys to successful negotiation:
1. People - Separate the people from the issues. There is no
need to personalize the issues with remarks about the person
on the other side of the table. Stick to the issues. Recognize
that there is emotion and investment on both sides and be prepared
to listen well. You know what Steven Covey says, 'Seek first
to understand, then, to be understood'. Be soft on people and
hard on issues. This way you can keep the relationship AND a
mutually satisfying outcome.
2. Interests Focus on the interests of the other, rather than
the position. Behind each position lies compatible as well as
conflicting interests. For example, when negotiating a raise,
a wise person acknowledges that the interests of the company
are to be progressive while making a profit. The wise boss acknowledges
the interests of the employee to accelerate on his/her career
path while making a contribution to the company and supporting
his/her lifestyle or family. Negotiations do not take place in
a vacuum. Each person has a real life going on, with real needs
and interests.
3. Options - Work with the other party to generate a variety
of options from which to create a solution. Brainstorm possibilities
without judgment or comment. You'd be surprised how many good
ideas can surface when this is allowed to occur. Make no decisions
until you've exhausted your list of possibilities. Then, look
for areas of agreement. Where are your interests shared? Where
are the interests a good fit? Explore options that are of low
cost to you and high value to the other party and vice versa.
4. Criteria - It is imperative to negotiate within mutually
agreed-upon standards of fairness. Otherwise, negotiating can
turn to street-fighting! These criteria may range from current
market value to procedures for resolving conflict. They will
allow you to create an equitable solution while keeping your
relationship intact. Want proof? Try it at home!
Negotiating fairly builds trust. Demonstrations of power erode
it. Before beginning to negotiate decide on the ground rules
and stick to them. You are setting the standard for future conversations
as well. Remember, you teach people how to treat you in two ways:
you know, set and enforce your boundaries, and, you demonstrate
your values in the ways you treat others.
Bargaining and maintaining strong positions are best left for
those fun holiday moments when you do not really care whether
or not the street vendor sells you that black velvet painting.
In the business world, those tactics may bring you short-term
results, however, the long-term damage to the relationships involved
may be irreparable. Remember, wherever there is a winner, there
must be a loser. Hard-nosed bargaining usually leaves both sides
exhausted, resentful and dissatisfied. You may know this from
bitter experience. You'll especially relate to this if you were
on the losing end!
Before entering into a dialogue of negotiation, be clear about
the outcome you prefer. Be able to express this preference well
with supporting statements that will make sense to your partner.
Be prepared to listen more, or, at least, as much as you speak.
Listen for common interests and possible options. Know what you
are willing to give as well as what you would like to receive.
When you are focused this way, you will get more of what you
want more often while winning friends and influencing people.
What a compelling reason for integrating the rules into your
next negotiation!
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD -- Keynote Speaker, Consultant, Trainer
-- Improving Workplace Relationships, Building & Strengthening
Teams, Managing Conflict & Anger -- www.SpeakingAboutWork.com.
